December 17th, 2007

Hobowars Christmas

You might know know about the game hobowars but I have been known to play it. There is a contest for a Christmas story so I thought I would share what I came up with here. There are allot of inside jokes. If you don't get it that is just the price you have to pay for not being cool.


Hobowars Holiday

The night of the solstice was hear at last.
I sat on a pile of Hanukkah trash.

Old boxes and ribbons lay at me feet.
I was just looking for something to eat.

So I though for a while and made up my plans.
Then found a safe spot to stick all my cans.

Off to the short buss, but there in it's way
was a red dressed bus driver and flying red slay.

He talked like a n00b as I waited around.
So I decided to take the tubby man down.

I sunk up behind him to take him out quick,
sunk a knife in his belly, but the fat was to thick.

Then fire replaced the twinkling eye.
He called me a ho ho and told me to die.

His speed was amazing and I could not flee.
It was clear that he'd trained it higher then me.

When his punch landed I prepared for a flip,
but seems I attacked him while he was unequipped.

I knew he would soon be licking my toes,
when out of nowhere came a reindeer with a red nose.

We circled a bit what to do wasn't clear.
I tried to discuses it but I didn't speak deer.

So I uncorked my whiskey because, I suppose,
if I want to beat him I need a red nose.

That was his downfall. Who would have thunk.
That red nosed reindeer was also a drunk.

Back to the fat man who stood in my way
he garbed his equipment from out of his slay.

He came fling at me with fruit cake in hand
stepped on my throat and pushed my face in the sand.

I struggled in vane to get to my knee,
put my hand in my pocket and set my rat free.

For that it seems he was not prepared.
He screamed like a girl. The fat man was scared.

He tripped as he ran from that old gumshoe rat
with a plump and a thump he squished the thing flat.

I took a second to think and review my fix.
When he gets back up, I'll be out of tricks.

So I trembled in fear as his eyes just looked meaner.
Then I stoled his win and slipped into the arena.

Oh I remember what Jesus once said
If your Christmas an't marry do Kwanzaa instead.