April 20th, 2007

doctors

I had a follow up appointment to check for kidney stones forming which I really didn't want to go to because it's unnatural for a purity woman to want to touch my penis and me to not want her to. In fact I am conditioned by pain to want her as far away from my penis as possible. But I went to the hospital had the tests she wanted and went because I don't want my wife to kill me.

So I pee in a cup and wait in a room. She tells me my stone picture looks fine, but she found sugar in my urine. Now my first thought was. I HAVE THE MUTANT ABILITY TO MAKE MOUNTAIN DEW!!! but my second thought was fuck! So she said I need to go to the hospital that day and have a random blood glucose test. So I went back to the hospital they stuck a pin in me took some of my blood and I went back to work.

Two days latter the doctor calls my house and leaves a message. My daughter got the message so who knows what the doctor really said. How in the world can someone who spends so much time on the phone have such poor phone skills. So I call her back and she tells me my blood sugar came back at 410 and the other thing I had never heard of is 11.5. Normal bloos sugar is 70-140 and normal the other thing is about 5. Then she tells me I need to see a family doctor that day or the next. Well that's a problem as I don't like doctors and don't have a family doctor. So I call up my wife and get the name of her doctor skip out of work early and go to see if I can get in there. Except on my way I think it would be a good idea to stop at the first doctors and get that blood work report. So I get to the first doctors office at 3:07pm, there closed. Who quits work at 3? Ok, other then me? And congress? oh well no report for me.

So I get to the doctors office and all the receptionists girls are behind a glass wall that you can't get to. All I have is a clipboard. So I sign that I am here to see my wifes dr. and go sit down. As I sit there I think to myself. No way in hell am I getting in. I need to talk to the girls behind the glass wall. How do I signal the mystic maidens. I look around for a mystic sword to pull out of a rock... nothing. I look for a sign or a instruction. Oh that would be to much to ask. Time to stand in fount of the window and try to look important. Wait wait wait. Then the glass door slides open. I knew they would get tired of looking at me eventually. So no appointment no dr. Luckily I have charm grade and insurance. I get a appointment with a different doctor the next day.

So I go back the next day. Dr says tells me I am fat. I am always so surprised the doctors power of observation are. We decide that I need to loose 100lbs take some meds and see a nutritiousness and take a fasting blood sugar. Then he feels my nuts? WTF? Well you will all be glad to know I don't have testicular cancer. What is it with high payed peopel wanting to touch my privits!

So Monday I go back to the hospital early in the morning and have a fasting blood sugar and a colestral test. I still haven't bothered to get the results of any of those yet. Then from out of the blue in the middle of the day the mail brings me a fast registration card for the hospital. This is great because I have to go back there to see the nutritionist. I go back in the evening card in had get to the fount desk... they don't have me register they just send me to a different spot with a peace of paper.

So I talk to the intricateness. She was bad at math. For someone who counts calories this is likely a bad thing. I started getting tired of her typing at the calculator and started completing her sentences. She made me eat more (I hadn't been eating much since the first dr because OMFG!!) and made me eat 60 cabs a meal. This is way different then dr feel your balls who kept menting Adkins. This dr didn't try to touch my crouch so I listened to her.

So here I am now 11lb lighter and a blood sugar of 93. More weight to go. Soon I will be able to watch clearly as powerful people touch my crouch.